Let's win one for Bill Grundy

So apparently the current Batman has a bit of a temper problem. As I'm sure anyone with a passing interest (and there really shouldn't be any other kind) has heard by now, a tape was 'leaked' to various entertainment 'news' outlet this week of Christian Bale (that would be Batman for the uninformed) laying into a crew member on the set of the latest unnecessary sequel, Terminator 4 (or maybe 5 or 6, I lost count). Actors being profane dicks is hardly a stop the press moment for me so I must admit my immediate reaction was, "Wow, another Terminator flick? Whatever happened to Edward Furlong? I think I'd like some pudding."

Anyway...to bring the rear up to speed, apparently the DP (that's director of photography which is not the same as THE director. Movie crews have about 10 different people doing what most probably assume THE director does. THAT dude/dudette mostly sits back, smokes cigs, argues with actors and sits in one of those funny chairs. Usually has a megaphone and wears a beret as well.) wandered into Mr. Batman's line of sight during a take. Because Bale's an ACTOR and this is serious, hard work which requires hours of preparation just to 'become' the character, it requires total concentration.

I'm guessing it probably does, but I've seen some of the previous Terminator flicks and enough action movies to know the score. In fact, the three main requirements in the genre seem to be 1)look badass with a gun, 2)jump away from any explosion in a badass fashion, 3)shouting "No","Come on" and "Now" whilst looking badass. Shakespeare, it most definitely ain't.

But I guess the big draw of Bale's meltdown is we get to hear a famous person say the F-word (your welcome) approximately 480 times in 3 minutes. Yes, I counted as I listened to every profane second. I'm just not used to hearing actors use toilet talk. Plus this time it's free instead of having to pay $10 and sit through all that boring dialogue just to get to the good stuff.

I'm not really sure why it's so funny to see/hear a famous person lose control, but golly it is. Maybe something to do with said person actually appearing human instead of whatever image said person normally puts forth.

Not surprisingly, the person's image is directly proportionate to the comedy. So some lunkhead athlete going off is worth a smile and little else. Unless you're ESPN with 24 hours to fill; then it's national tragedy time replete with hand-wringing commentary.

Actors, musicians merit some chuckles but that's probably more relative to how big a fan one is. Brittany Spears cursing might could elicit a "Ha" from me but you get Bobby Fripp profanely raking Billy Bruford over the coals for shoddy time-keeping at some King Crimson rehearsal and I'd be on the floor.

Then there's newscasters who let a rude word slip or in the case of Bill O'Reilly just go (and there's really no other way to put it, sorry) apeshit and you have the makings of an internet sensation. I could watch those clips all day. I don't know what that says about me but I suspect it's not too good.

And because I'm a nice guy, here's a link to Bale, O'Reilly and a couple of other celeb meltdowns. It's funny because it's true. (Disclaimer: some of the language could be described as salty, blue or inappropriate so earmuffs on.)

Speaking of funny and profane, the big Patton Oswalt show is tonight in Athens. Bonnie Dearest, Seth, Seth's wife and me will be there as will anyone who wants to laugh. And is roughly in the general area of the 40 watt. At 9 pm. And has $16. If you see me there, please do not disturb me.