Motion pictures on my tv screen

So last night was the Oscars and I didn't watch a second of it. Nonetheless I am certain I didn't miss anything and therefore regret nothing. Even if I had missed something, I'm still quite certain that I would regret nothing. I admit that it's strange for someone who is as into movies as I am that I couldn't care less. But then, I suppose it's precisely because I am so into movies that I don't care. As should be painfully obvious by now, I've little interest in the glamour and glitz of showbiz and the self-importance, self-righteousness and self-love that so many of our 'favorites' tend to bless us with. And yes, I'm looking at you (this time anyway) Sean Penn.

While I didn't watch any of the show, thanks to the miracle of the interwebs I've heard of the former Mr. Madonna's Best Actor acceptance speech. While I fully admit that Penn is one of the greatest actors of his generation, heck, maybe the greatest--or at least the greatest most folks recognize--I've little need to hear his opinions on much of anything, particularly the issues of the day. Though the video of his would be cavalry charge leaking water in his attempt to single-handily rescue New Orleans from the ravages of Katrina or, more precisely, Bush did make some of his sanctimony worth it.

This is not to say I don't think Penn's entitled to his opinion. Of course he is. It's just the notion that because he's a brooding method actor who really digs down deep for his performance he's somehow qualified as a voice of reason on non-movie related stuff that I find absurd. In essence, I've played important/interesting/smart dudes in the movies so I must be be important/interesting/smart myself. Maybe he is, but that doesn't mean I have to care. I want Sean to entertain me or, to put in a more ego-boosting way, give me some sort of insight into the human condition. He did this quite well as Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. On that I think we can all agree.

But back to the Oscars. In his speech, Penn made some comment about how he was proud to stand for gay marriage as it was one of the great civil rights of our time. Maybe it is but that's besides my point here. I don't remember the exact quote (it's easy enough to find out there) but his inference was that he was somehow taking a bold stance. Never mind, he was in a room in which virtually everyone was wearing a ribbon supporting that very cause. But only a man, a fiercely heterosexual one at that, who had the courage to play a gay icon could take. And that this might somehow damage his career with us rubes in flyover country. No offense, Sean, but flyover country doesn't go see your movies. Whether or not this is a good or bad thing is something for someone else to decide.

No, your audience is primarily city folk and bored yahoos (like me) who have life so good that we need to go to the cinema to feel emotion and glimpse 'real' humanity. We won't have to get our hands dirty but can still claim empathy on some level. Whatever. I'm surprised Penn didn't pull a muscle patting himself on the back. Of course, if he had there was no shortage of arms willing to do that. And more.

Battlefield bravery, this ain't.

It's more like me standing up in church and proclaiming that I think Christmas is pretty good idea after all. Where's my ribbon?