Imagine if you were president and they named a cartoon cat after you

President's Day. The day in which we honor those who've achieved one of the most prestigious and rare positions on Earth. Our nation thinks so much of these good folk that we lump all of them into a generic holiday that virtually no one other than government workers get off. Somehow it all seems fitting. What better way to honor and respect Washington than by shutting it down for a day whilst the rest of us keep the country going?

I suppose depending on which end of the all-time ass-kicking-ist president list one falls would determine how that particular family feels about the whole day. Must be nice if you're a Zachary Taylor or a James Garfield to merit a holiday on the coattails of a George Washington or a Abraham Lincoln. Not quite as a nice if you're a George Washington or a Abraham Lincoln to see your own "day" eliminated and morphed into a one, big old catch all that equates, well, Zachary Taylor with George Washington.

Which is, unfortunately, an undeserved slight on Taylor. Like most presidents not named Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy or whoever the contemporary occupant of Casa Blanca is, he's a mere footnote. Just another in a long line of old/not so old dudes that most people remember for the 6th grade social studies test and forget (except Andy). Even on the so-called "big issues", our sight and memory is so short and limited that although we're sure EVERYONE can name every president from Kennedy forward, I'd wager the reality would be a bit more sobering. Maybe from Reagan forward and only then because 2 of the 4 are related and one of the remaining is the current occupant.

The point being that if we can't even remember all 44 men who've ruled this country with an iron fist what chance do you or I have of being remembered? In short: give up now and beat the rush. Happy President's Day.

Some brief, forgotten President fun facts that Andy already knows:

President Lard Ass - W.H. Taft, weighed around 350.

President Bachelor - James Buchanan, possibly gay not that there's anything wrong with that.

President Moustache - Chester A. Arthur, find your own damn picture. Really. It's worth it.

President Burns - Martin Van Buren, see above.

President Pneumonia - William Henry Harrison, allegedly got sick after refusing to wear coat for his inauguration. Regardless end result still the same, died a month after taking office.

President Awesome - Millard Fillmore, seriously look at his picture on the whitehouse.gov page. And he was 13th. And named Millard.