Sort of like Kohoutek

For a technically savvy family, we're not exactly on the cutting edge of things. We know all about the latest gadgets/gizmos; we choose not to purchase them until they're outdated, which makes perfect sense. If it hadn't been for the England trip back in the fall I probably would still be an ipod luddite. Getting one never really crossed my mind. I had a little mp3 player for running and that was sufficient. For everything else, I wondered why I would want to take a decent chunk of my record collection around constantly when I could just carry a couple of cds. Again, perfect sense.

But then we started becoming world travellers again and the near constant silence between my father, brother and me on said trip seemed too daunting. As I said at the time, we're not big talkers and after 300 years together have things down pretty much down to winks, nods and grunts. A sample conversation: One of us: "What do you want to do now?" Another one of us: "Dunno." The other one: _shrug_. And repeat. Thus I entered the ipod world and marched confidently into the technology of 2006. In late 2008.

Which brings me to yesterday wherein I purchased an ipod shuffle. To commemorate I did a ceremonial 5 miles yesterday with my old mp3 player containing its same songs that I'd long grown sick of. After a final swing through some Deep Purple and Fountains of Wayne, I retired the MP3 from running duty. Enjoy your retirement old friend. Coupled with color tv and a microwave, I'm pretty sure that brings my tech status to sometime in 2007.

Not to be outdone, my Dad, for reasons best known to himself, entered the Blackberry fray. I realize for most modern folk, this is hardly a newsflash but considering up until a year or so ago, he rarely kept his cell phone on, this is a titanic shift. Maybe he was jealous of all those youngsters with their cool shoes walking around with those snazzy holders on their belts. Don't know, but now he's got a whole new assortment of bells and whistles he'll never use.

I've never really known him to be mowing the woods (yes, he does this though is otherwise seemingly sane) and have the sudden urge to know, say, Pedro Martinez's stats from his previous start. An understandable urge. However, having never experienced this particular strand of helplessness I suppose I can't really fathom the severity this entails. I'm probably in the minority, however. But praise Jeebus, should that urge strike him now, he can find out such facts and so much more without having to leave his beloved tractor. And people think modern life is rubbish.

Because he's gone from zero to sixty with this latest craze, he's a work in progress on the Blackberry. But he's on his own. Andy is busy with final preparations for Baby Ziegler (still unnamed) and doesn't have the time to show him exactly how to use the device. I simply can't be bothered because I am a bastard--not literally, of course. And since my Dad never knows when the mood/opportunity will strike to learn all about those amazing features of his new toy, he carries all manner of wires, plugs, discs and general crap relating to said Blackberry in a Wal-Mart bag with him. I believe that falls under the realm of defeating the purpose. But again, I'm a bastard.

In the midst of all this Blackberry madness, my Dad has also discovered that bane of grammarians everywhere, texting. One might ask why would a non-talkative 68-year old dude possibly need another medium to not communicate with his two non-talker sons? What could he possibly not need to say electronically that he can't not say to us in person? Beats me. Perhaps he feels we'll take his texting privileges if he doesn't use it. If we did I really don't know what he would have to complain about. He'd still have his 8-track player and some Ferrante and Teicher albums to keep him company.

For whatever reason, though, since then I've gotten far more updates on his mundanities than usual. 16-year old girls the world over would be proud as he informs me such details as I'm leaving the doctor's office. I got the Tahoe unstuck from the mud. Ooh, I just passed a brick house. OMG. God help us if he ever discovers Twitter.