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Generally I'm quite the fan of Madison Avenue. I appreciate all they do for me and my fellow Earth denizens with their introductions to products that help make our little planet better. Or get me to buy this floor cleaner instead of that one by using some forgotten song in a desperate appeal to my nostalgia. Full disclosure, I buy Charmin toilet tissue simply because they're able to get away with cartooning an old adage--the one about bears, woods, etc.

It is, as I never say, all good and as a result I pretty much believe everything I see on TV and read on the internet. If advertisers tell me that all beer drinkers are nothing but oversexed, brain dead horn dogs who's only goal in life is to get as much free hooch as possible then who am I to disagree. Were I a beer drinker, I might take offense but, according to the ads, I'd probably be to stupid to realize their condescending tone anyway.

But it's when advertisers use their powers for the greater good that I really feel the tug on my heart strings. The "be green" gobbledy-gook that's all the rage now is something I'm really behind. Who doesn't love Mother Earth? Certainly not me. Pretty much all of my thinking is global whilst a decent chunk of my action is local. I toss my old car batteries out back instead of filling the county land fill with such hazards and drink nothing but bottled water so my fellow townies will have more to water their lawns and wash their cars with. I want there to be enough water around in a few years in which for (still unborn, unnamed) Baby Zeigler. See, I'm also thinking of future generations. True, I'd probably do that even if "green" wasn't the new "extreme" to advertisers but still all reminders help.

Perhaps the greatest greater good, however, is getting me to care about the medical problems of aging actresses. I have no problem with Jamie Lee Curtis. I think A Fish Called Wanda is one of the best examples of well-executed comedy, think her husband, Christopher Guest, is a comedic genius and her mom was great in Psycho. All that being said, I'd never given the details of Jamie Lee Curtis' bathroom visits much thought. Surprising, I know.

Being an actress and all, I just assumed she wasn't human and never actually used such facilities. Imagine my surprise to find that not only does she go but apparently quite a bit. So much so that she needs a little yogurt to keep her "regular." Furthermore, she is so regular now that she can't wait to tell me all about it in one 30-second burst. Outstanding. I suppose when the big showbiz rumor surrounding you all these years involves hermaphrodism then trying to shift the conversation to matters scatological is probably not a bad idea.

While I can care about Jamie Lee's regularity or even Sally Field's bone density, one trend that I have come to absolutely despise is the need for the spokesperson to provide their name and age. The commercials where a 'real' person is shown talking about how product X made their life better, worse or had no real effect. Sometimes the testimonials are straight, other times ironic but always unnecessary and annoying. This may be hard for the companies to believe but I take them at their word that the paid actor in their commercial is a proud endorser of their product. If he/she is not, then I'm happy to remain blissfully ignorant. I'm not going to hunt Jeanine Evans, 42, down to make sure she really did buy that Microsoft product or is an actual Tylenol user. It probably makes me a bad human, but I really don't care one way or the other. Aside from interrupting my stories, there will be no impact on me whatsoever.

But like any ad trend, once one commercial has it, they all hop on board, creating the conundrum of what once differentiated now makes the same. Yeah, I know, deep. For such a supposedly creative place, advertising, like the rest of the world, has a lot of trouble with originality. I'm not sure whether it's fear of being left behind by not following, laziness or both. But it's annoying and depressing. Much like life.