Canada Dry Bitter Lemon? Awful

Before wrapping up MB exciting trip to our northern neighbor, I should mention that the arrival of Baby Zeigler (still unnamed) is imminent. Millicent's due date is May 10. Some may recognize this as Mother's Day and find that fitting or sweet or both. The coldhearted may not but does anyone really care about them. Hence their cold hearts. Anyway, if Baby Zeigler stretches it out (so to speak) until then I'll be surprised but rest assured, there will be a birth announcement up here ASAP. It probably won't be for Baby Zeigler, but it will be a birth announcement nonetheless. Oh, and please try not to notice that I shifted a four-day trip into two.

Day 2 was spent doing more sightseeing but managing to avoid pretty much any place the average person has heard of. So that means, again, no CN Tower and um, no CN Tower. They did see a dude who looked like a Gord but turned out to have the rather American name of Brad. Bummer. But MB did manage to find a cool record store, Soundscapes. (This was possibly on Saturday, but since I don't know I can't imagine why anyone would care).

Like me, MB is always on the lookout for record stores because she's never going to catch up with my collection otherwise. Unlike me, she does has somewhat of an interest in architecture and historical sights of which Toronto has them in spades. The CN Tower and, um, you know. Usually however, the pull of plastic, vinyl and snooty hipster clerks wearing glasses and cool shoes wins out. As it would.

Before she left for Toronto, she had asked me if I wanted her to pick me up anything. Natch, I forgot until after she left and sent a frantic text requesting such an item. (The new The Who Sell Out Deluxe Edition which isn't available in the U.S.) Unfortunately, my text writing skillz and her reading skillz didn't match up and I didn't even get a lousy t-shirt out of the deal. But she did let me know how cool the store was. Thanks. I then told her how cool it was to hang out with some person she would think is cool but no one else would recognize. Oh, how mad she got.

Now the ultimate purpose of their whole trip was just to get away from Jacksonville. Fair enough. That cold, snow and heavy coats destroys sun, beaches, and scant clothing in a battle of the desirables is a no-brainer. So it was with some disappointment that MB and Alfredo found the weather not all dissimilar to their adopted Jacksonville. Such a crushing disappointment this was, that MB briefly considered calling the whole thing off. But the prospect of eating doughnuts with members of Barenaked Ladies proved to tempting and the trip was back on. Alas, on the whole doughnut thing she was disappointed too. Though can not meeting Barenaked Ladies really be considered much of a disappointment?

The secondary (and really main) purpose was to go to the Great Lake Swimmers show in Toronto. Elephant memoried readers of this space may recall that a couple of weeks ago, the three of us enjoyed an evening with that very band. Such was the life-changing nature of the performance for 1/3 of us that a trip 1600 miles from home was deemed necessary. Bringing the mountain to Mohammad this was not. It's close enough for rock and roll though, I suppose. As GLS are from Toronto, (which is, in fact, the ONLY city in Canada) they were warmly received by the crowd. In kind, they washed their flannel and trimmed their beards for the occasion. Well, not the lady, I'm pretty sure she washes daily which is rather polite of her.

Unlike the previous night's Youth Group show, MB found this one much more to her liking. No douchery to be found and since I'm sure the guys and gal in the band will be reading this, if only to figure out where I live so they can come itch me with their beards, thanks for entertaining MB and Alfredo. They really dug it. As did I the other night in Atlanta.

After the big show, there really wasn't much else of interest to be found in Toronto. Sure there's a cracking transportation system, ever-present dudes named Gord and Stu, and far too many other Canadian cliches I've yet to run into the ground, plus the always unneeded prospect of french fries covered in gravy and various other goop (Poutine). An aside, how do you know your country is so awesome it has too much free time? When there's enough time to come up with something to make the greatest food ever invented, french fries, disgusting and inedible. Well played, my Canadian friends. Maybe that's why there fewer fat Canadians. Aside from Bachman Turner Overdrive, of course.

As a result, our traveling duo headed back to the relative comfort of the good ol' U.S. of A and the beautiful, welcoming sights of Buffalo, New York. Buffalo is a city for those who like the dingy industrial feel of a Pittsburgh or a Cleveland but hate that it only snows 7 months out of the year instead of 10. Probably best known to most as home to that eternal punching bag of sports futility, Buffalo Bills. Buffalo--Where Super Bowl dreams come to die. It's still an okay town in my book, I just can't imagine they put that slogan on the tourist brochures.

And then some time later, MB and Alfredo arrived back home to their cats and the sun and the heat and the comfort of knowing that in a few thousand words I'd managed to offend an entire country at their expense.

I must go now. I'm expecting a callback on my job with the State Department.