The dawning of the age of the Gurley's store

Somewhat of a news flash but today is Halloween and like most "holidays"--St. Patrick's, New Year's, Earth Day, etc.--I can't really be bothered. I only go for the biggies. Those which have legitimate religious significance, gifts or both. Let's face it. Easter is arguably more important to Christians than even Christmas, unfortunately Peter Cottontail doesn't have the PR machine that Pere Noel has. Therefore, whilst everyone everywhere, (outside of Japan that is) eagerly starts the countdown clock to Christmas sometime around the start of the year, Easter just appears. It's the one major holiday that sort of just jumps, or hops if you will, up on everyone at some point; a schedule no one can really figure out unless you're an Alexandrian. Probably why it's best to set an actual date for the fun rather than some nebulous window when the moon is in the seventh house or some such.

This all has very little to do with the date the world finds itself on currently.

It's not that I have anything against Halloween; it's just never done all that much for me. I don't oppose this most evil of nights on religious grounds nor am I so concerned with the periodontal habits of my fellow travellers that the idea of free candy is tragic. Perhaps I was just terribly blessed to have parents who had no problem keeping the coffers stocked with various sweets from Mars Inc. and taught me not to expect handouts from strangers.

Whatever, growing up we just never really got into Halloween in any real way. Aside from a Buck Rogers(!) costume, I don't remember ever dressing up, but honestly once one has been Gil Gerard there is nowhere to go but down. And being neither much of a social creature or booze hound, as an adult, I generally see little use in such events either. Not disrespect intended to those that are/do. We all have bags, mine is just not that.

However, Halloween is at least partly responsible for one of the first steps on my road to self-discovery: the realization that, while there's much good in the world, there's an awful lot of time wasted on an awful lot of useless stuff.

Sort of like blogs.

As a child, one of the only 'celebrations' of Halloween we did was go to the carnival at our church. Sounds fun. There was the usual assortment of silly games, candy and the same cartoon every year. No one seemed to mind and a grand time was had by most. One year, I recall we even had a haunted house of sorts in the sanctuary. Chilling if for all the wrong reasons.

And apparently too much for some.

Shortly thereafter an effort succeeded to take the evil out of all the fun by renaming our previously rather sensible and succinctly named Halloween Festival. Thus was born The Christian Alternative To Halloween or as it was never referred to. Apparently, the naming committee was paid based on word count and clunkiness. That the attending acronym also happened to be a device used for, erm, disposal was lost on everyone. Not surprisingly, the name never caught on.

Kid A: Hey Joe, what'cha doin for Halloween?
Kid B: Nothing.
Kid A: I'm going to the Christian Alternative to Halloween event at my church. Want to go?
Kid B: Absolutely! Are they gonna serve rice cakes and lukewarm tap water?
Kid A: Possibly.
Kid B: Aw no, I can't. I just remembered I'm supposed to help my Mom shuck peas. Bummer. Sounds awesome. I bet they were going to have a reading room and everything.

Though the name suggests that any/all fun was also removed, I don't remember there being a whole lot of difference at the actual soiree. The usual assortment of silly games, cheap prizes and little kids dressed in ridiculous, but not scary!, outfits were prevalent. A big mess was still made and no one was saved. Parents still called it the Halloween thing and dreaded having to take the kids every year, regardless of what they said.

Again, fun.

Over time the name eventually morphed into Fall Festival. Whether because no one really remembered why the original change or that crowd just got tired of hanging/writing 34 letters when 12 would do quite nicely, I can't say. But in the all-inclusive world of inclusion, Fall Festival sounds a bit more inviting and pleasant. And on such an evil day, that's really all that matters.