Day 4 -- We shall never surrender

Being as I'm the sole proprietor of this blog, I guess I'm the ombudsman by default. As a result, more housecleaning to start off with. Re: Madeline/Maureen and who's who. Ultimately, this is a choice I will allow the respective parties to make because cat fights are always interesting if not necessary worthwhile. Though one would be hard pressed to come up with a better reason to throw down than an alias on some obscure blog. Nevertheless, I believe Madeline should be this one and Maureen should be that one. Fair enough.

The above nonsense was due to a comment left in the, er, comment section presenting a perfect opportunity to advertise just that. As many already have, feel free to leave a comment if you want. You don't have an account and can leave it anonymously. Moving on...

We left the hotel this morning about 9 and got to the train station and settled in for the Eurostar a little after 10. It was fun to have spent more time in Paris and not feel so rushed. Of course, I could have stayed another 2 weeks or longer in France just roaming, but I must admit that from a language standpoint I was not up to the level I had hoped to be. I suppose I did about as I expected which is to say not great but enough to get by. I certainly wouldn't want to try it, but I would think it entirely possible to speak not a word of French and survive pretty easy there.

I had been looking forward to taking that train because I did enjoy it so much last time. Zooming through the countryside and marveling at, not unlike Georgia, once you get out of the city you are in the absolute middle of nowhere. Just a guess, but I would figure that 30 minutes in any direction from Paris, one would find acres and acres of farm land. Anyway, I didn't see a whole lot of the countryside this time as I decided I'd attempt to resume my interrupted nap. That didn't work too well either, but I tried nonetheless.

We were supposed to arrive in London around 11 but for some reason the train was delayed so it was actually after 12. This had no real effect on my day or the days of countless Londoners but is merely included in the interest of being thorough. Currently and for the rest of the trip we'll be residing in room 500 of the Hotel Montana, located in the Kensington District. I've no idea where the name comes from. Apologies to the good folk of the Treasure State but its hardly what I think of when I think of posh, urban and British. I'm fairly certain our concierge and presumably any/all power players in the Hotel Montana global corporate structure do not come from there either unless there's Bombay suburb named Montana. The concierge was of Indian descent and the hotel restaurant is Indian cuisine. Perhaps I'll ask at some point though I suspect not.

The important thing is that there's a Burger King and a KFC right down from our hotel as well as several pubs and a Tesco (supermarket). Yay, yay and yay. And free wireless internet. So that means instead of exploring the city and country, we'll probably just stick around here all week watch the reruns of American shows and play on the internet. In short, it will be just like home. If people talked funny and drove on the wrong side of the road and had a farcical system of government established by a sword-throwing tart in a lake. I keed and feel free to correct that quote. You know who you are.

Andy's plan was to go Greenwich and stand on the prime meridian. Again. Maybe even take a picture. Alas, the tube route to Greenwich was down for the day so that will have to wait until Wed. or Thurs. So yes, dear reader, we get to London and our first intended destination isn't Buckingham Palace or the Tower. Oh no. It's where he can stand a 0 degrees longitude and imagine what it feels like to be God or something. Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Instead after our delightful Whopper lunch, we decided to go from tube stop to tube stop just because. Eventually, we ended up by the Tower of London and then on to Westminster Abbey and all that. On to the Churchill Museum which, contrary to what Andy thinks, I actually found rather interesting and given our trip to Normandy, I suppose helped give things even more of a WWII bend this time around. I learned that Churchill lit and went through about 12 cigars a day though he never actually smoked them. It will make the museum folks proud to know that was the ultimate fun fact I left with. That plus he and Hitler never met.

Actually, I really was surprised to know that he was voted out of office in 1945. I found this shocking considering his role in modern world history. I would have definitely voted for him so he did have that going for him.

The first and sometimes only question I was asked about our trip in 1997 was, "Did you go to Buckingham Palace." Unaware that this was tantamount to not seeing the stable in Bethlehem, I always answered, "No." Which was then met with an exasperated, "You didn't" without fail. I explained then as now that it never came up but none of us had any particular inclination. Not out of malice towards the delightful queen and her oh so silly family, but just because we'd rather do other things. Like go record store and the prime meridian. Therefore, it is with great joy, excitement, relief and all around something that I announce the following:

"WE WENT TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE!!!!"

Not unlike that stable in Bethlehem, it was life-changing. I am a better person for it. If only I'd known the previous 11 years could have been like the past few hours of my life, I would have flown over here just to go. In fact, I think I'll go again tomorrow and probably the next day. I would suggest that any and all stop whatever they are doing right now and hop the next plane or boat, hell, swim the Atlantic if you have to. Just get over here and experience it.

I suspect every remaining moment of this trip will be a complete and total letdown.

Since we've been gone since Thursday and Andy packed light, it was time to do a bit of laundry this evening. Being a logical fellow, he did just that and washed his delicates in the sink. They now are hanging over the shower curtain rail drying. I do not know if he used hotel soap, a box of Tide he smuggled on to the plane or just ran water over them to get the germs off. Those details are quite inconsequential to the overriding fact that he decided he would rather do laundry by hand at some point than bear the extra weight of 2,3 or perhaps 4 more pairs of socks and underwear. Millicent was aghast when he told her of his own housecleaning. I must side with her on this one. She may not know how to interweb but by gum she can wash a mean cloth.

I think that's why Andy married her.

Day 3 -- The search for Superman II

A little housecleaning before I get going. First off, it has been brought to my attention courtesy of my two travelling companions that some of my comments re: the esteemed probate judge could be interpreted as negative, i.e. she and I don't get along and I'm talking behind her back. Andy's said he didn't realize that she reads this and thought I was just unloading on her. Well she does and I'm not. For the record, I get along great with her. Don't tell, but I actually enjoy working with her and think we may a darn good team. I do all the work, she gets all the credit. Kidding. I guess I shouldn't have assumed the world knows how we operate; there's a lot of playful digs at one another. One of her favorite things to tell me: "Jerms, don't be a smart ass." I'm pretty sure Madeline and Maureen (the fake names of the real duo across the hall in the courthouse--how's that for a mention ladies?) would know that also were I ever to mention them.

Currently, we're back in Paris in room 507 of the Hotel Elysees Ceramic, which as you may have guessed is somewhat near the famed Champs-Elysees. The Arc du Triumph is right down the street; were I to walk out into the street right now, I could even see it. But being as I've got my Mickey Mouse pj's (yeah, what of it) on and have settled in for the evening, I think I shall not. Far from enjoying the Parisian nightlife, we came in, ate our Subway sandwiches and plopped down to watch some good ol' CNN International. The channel selection this evening being 3 French stations, 1 German, 1 Italian and CNNI. I don't expect much better the rest of the week, but most of the channels should at least be in English.

After taking the train back to Paris from Bayeux this morning we got here around noon. Stopped by our hotel to drop off our bags and I was yet again amazed at the ability of some of those in these parts to carry on two conversations in two different languages simultaneously. An ability, I must admit, I only wish I possessed.

Since we only had today, our touring plans were pretty much limited to the biggies and some general roaming. So that meant the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral, the aforementioned Arc and whatever was interesting on the way to/from these places. While I was glad to spend a little time at these places and actually see them rather than zoom by them as we did before, I just enjoyed walking around and taking everything in, experiencing a different city and all that jazz. I've always been interested in observing more than interacting. (wallflowers of the world, unite) A trait which some probably mistake for arrogance but is in fact borne from extreme shyness, but this is hardly the place for self-analysis. Herein a few observations from a day in Paris.

1. If you want to find the Americans in Paris, head directly to the Eiffel Tower. Whilst this is probably somewhat true of all the local biggies, the ET seemed to have the highest concentration of Yanks I've yet seen. In fact, we got our tickets for the elevator because a group from St. Louis recognized Andy's Cardinals t-shirt and mistook him for a fan. Andy was all jazzed to go up, but Daddy wasn't that keen and I had no desire at all. Heights being yet another of my phobias though unlike Monk I've yet to take the time to rank them all. Nevertheless, I'm a trooper and after our new friends insisted we were going anyway, we did. A side note, if I look a tad uncomfortable in any Eiffel photos I can assure you it's most accurate. Another side note, yes Chris I did make a Superman II reference whilst there and after so doing offered to go jump in front of a bus as penance. Thankfully, Andy said that wouldn't be necessary. As for the tower, it's massive. Be assured as big as it looks in pictures, the reality is much larger. Whether this will delight or disappoint is a choice best left to the individual.

2. Scarves are the in thing for the ladies. Young and old, fashionista and whatever the opposite of fashionista is. It seems to be the great uniter here, the Obama if you will. Like most trends, the first two or three hundred times one sees it, one thinks, "Zounds, there goes a really hip person. I wonder if he/she likes peanut butter." After a while, however, the whole thing gets a bit fishy and one wonders if anybody actually likes the trend or that's all the store had. I should point out these scarves aren't the typical winter deal that most sensible folk have always worn. Nope. These are the kind that I would best describe as looking like something the PLO used to wear. Or maybe they still do--The PLO have sort of fallen off my radar lately. These are clearly intended to be fashion accessory and are not worn cause there's a slight nip in the air. Being as I don't really follow fashion, particularly women's, apologies if some of the more so inclined readers are screaming at me via their computers that these trend has been around for years.

3. Notre Dame Cathedral has a giant underground magnet that draws peoples of all nations. Per square area, I'd wager there was a larger crowd there than the ET. We had to stand in line to enter. Though the line moved very quickly, the fact remained that we were standing in line to get into a church. Famous. Beautiful. Etc. But a church nonetheless. And as always, no disrespect intended to Notre Dame but I couldn't help but think of the King Crimson lyric, "Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary" in regards to the area around it. It's all one huge tacky gift shop.

4. The Champs-Elysses is the Paris equivalent of Times Square. Once again, this is probably not a shock to most but I was quite surprised at the sheer number of people walking along. Should I have decided I was sick of walking I could have popped in to the a)Merc dealer, b)Peugot dealer, c)Renault dealer and spent various amounts of money on a suitably sleek and eggy European car. Along the route we also got to see the new Picasso which judging by the line to get in was a terribly big deal. Apparently, it's some sort of new vehicle, perhaps it flies or comes equipped with an ejector seat like a Bond car. Maybe you get a book of coupons good for the cinema. Dunno. Just know that this was big news for the Parisians. Not so big that we were intrigued though. Well, actually I was but Andy was on a mission to get back to the hotel so we didn't stop. I guess I'll never know. If only there was some way to search worldwide on items that are unknown to me.

5. A Quarter Pounder at a French McDonald's actually is a Royal Cheese so kudos to Quentin Tarrantino for doing a brief bit of actual research in between ripping off various obscure films. And the french fries and coke is indeed better. Sorry for little else but the Eurostar is arriving at the station and I must go. On to London.

Apologies if this post doesn't end to well. Andy's standing over ready to go to Greenwich.

Day 2 -- The risk of buying pizza in Bayeux. Going to Normandy

Another night in Bayeux, our last. A Saturday night as I type and like last night we're in for an early evening. Andy's talking to Millicent on the phone telling her how to work the interwebs from 3000 miles away. There's probably some irony/stupidity in making a $2 a minute international call to delve into such matters. I suspect the major obstacle being her never-ending search for the anykey. I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt in turning the computer on. Oh, wait. Andy left it on before we left.

While I've yet to find any cheese-making documentaries on the telly, I have determined that in addition to their graffiti the French do enjoy their news bloopers and funny home videos. For some reason the show that's been on for seemingly the last 3 hours has French celebs (I presume) sitting around a table discovering YouTube together. In between occasionally promoting their latest product they laugh as they watch all the videos that you, dear reader, have seen a gazillion times through your own searches or have been sent upwards of 82 times by various well meaning mass emails. Which is not to say the language barrier dulls the hilarity of a newscaster being run over by a car, but well, even after three hours it can all get a bit same-y. Since we only have 3 English channels, all news ,and 2 German, including MTV (!) and maybe 5 other French ones, there's not been a whole lot of boobtubing in this particular room of the Churchill Hotel.


I'm not really sure if it's the region or the desire to cater to the predominately American tourist industry here, but there's an awful lot of pizza joints around. Or at least joints that sell pizza in addition to whatever local delicacy they offer. In other words, you can get an omelet or pizza on every corner and some places that sell both together. What do I know about haute cuisine?

Wishing to broaden our palettes, tonight Andy and my Dad got some form of pork in a pear sauce that got mixed reviews from the two of them. Not wanting to feel left out, I lived on the edge and allegedly got a 4 cheese pizza (Mozzarella, Gorgonzola, Roquefort and Goat Cheese) that was among the worst things I have ever attempted to eat. Beforehand I though, "How bad could it be?" I found out though I suppose, the upside is I now have a new taste nadir.

Sorry MB. I tried. A weak effort perhaps, but I tried nonetheless.

And in fairness, so did the restaurant. The had Toto's greatest hits on repeat during our entire stay. Since I really had nothing to do while Andy and Daddy enjoyed their meals to varying degrees of satisfaction, I amused myself imagining how the conversation to start up said restaurant went. Xenophobia is fun.

Owner: "I want to start new restaurant to cater to American but still be French. We've got big American dollar here." (Please ignore the fact that almost to a person every French dude/dudette I've met has spoken better English than most of the good folk I deal with each day. Given who I deal with, this is more of compliment than it sounds.)


Would-be garcon: "How you do that?"

O: "By giving what Americans like, no?" (I've yet to hear anyone actually add "no" to the end of sentence thus forming a question but that always a trait every non-native English-speaking character has in the movies.

WbG: "Oui, oui. They like pizza."

O: "Pizza, yes, good. When come to France they also want to feel French but not too much, no."

WbG: "You could offer French dish but garnish with French Fries and serve Coca-Cola. But make restaurant look nice and French."

O: "Brilliant. Do not they also like the rock and roll?"

WbG: "D'accord. I have Toto greatest hits cd. I bring and you play on endless. They will not want exit."

O: "What is this Toto?"

WbG: "You know. Singers of Africa and Hold the Line. They very big in U.S." (This much is true. Or was. In 1982. Nevertheless, in a semi-classy looking French joint that served pizza in addition to some semi-classy looking French dishes, we were treated to the four hits of Toto on for the duration of our hour+ meal. I'm sure Toto were/is a great group of super crack musicians to record with but I didn't need to hear Rosanna in 1983 and I sure don't need to hear it in 2008 on vacation in France. Needless to say, that I actually would hear them has amused me to no end.)

Most of the day, however, was spent visiting various D-Day sights as part of a 9-hour tour. As Andy well knows, me and most of his historical sights don't jibe but Normandy was different. I'm not sure if it's because unlike cathedrals and castle ruins, D-Day is something that directly affected my family and not something I know of from the brief history lesson I get on the way to said sight (we're not content with hitting the major sights, you know), but this was not of the dreaded grin-and-bear it-we'll-find-a-record-store-next category.

I was rather looking forward to it.


Truthfully, I suspect it will be the highlight of the entire trip for all of us. As most reading this may or may not know, my grandfather a.k.a Poppie, was involved in the D-Day invasion, driving a truck onto Utah Beach as part of the 4th Infantry. We don't talk all that much about what went on, though certainly more than we used to, but I've more admiration for him and his service to his country than I do for just about anything. To walk those beaches and see/hear how he and tens of thousands of men just like him simply did their duty knowing all too well the possible cost but still without hesitation was beyond words. I wonder if my generation would have that same will.


I suspect not.


In a world of instant gratification and "all about me"-ness, it seems hard to believe that, in numbers that large, we could put the well being of others and future generations ahead of our own. Let our power/cable go out for 30 minutes and see if we don't begin to go slightly insane. Let us find out our neighbor has it while we don't and be surprised thoughts of justifiable homicide don't appear. Believe me, I know. I'm no different.

Honestly, it was a lot to take in both physically and emotionally. Far more than I could accurately describe here. The town of St Mère Eglise has been more or less rebuilt as it was at the time; Utah Beach is exactly as it was that day. Omaha Beach is still a solemn place but now has a row of houses that are as out of place as they are unfortunate. I can't imagine why anyone would want the location of a vacation home to overlook the sight of such carnage; I couldn't have built there in good conscience. Maybe I'm just weird.

Our guide (hi Stuart) was most knowledgeable and added several layers to various well-known battles and stories. I got the feeling from him that, in addition to being a subject he was fascinated by, he also felt it was his duty to make sure those brave men's stories are told and never forgotten. Not as an obligation, mind, but as the least he could do for those who gave so much. His personal insights as well the stories he told from men who were actually there honestly did give me a better understanding of exactly what Poppie went through on that day and the days after. For that I am most grateful.

Day 1 -- We're here. Eventually.

8:30 pm -- I have no idea where we are right now besides somewhere between Atlanta and Paris. My guess would be somewhere near Maine. Andy just looked out the window and confirmed, "Yes, we are in fact near Maine." After tiring of Learning French by Podcast after about 6 lessons, I switched over to music. Currently the lovely Neko Case is playing for me whilst the rest of the cabin pretends to watch The Visitor. Haven't seen it but glancing up every now and then, it looks like one of those movies you'd only see on an airplane. That is to say, one would watch it unless there was nothing better to do. Perhaps I'm wrong and offer my apologies to the fine folks who made it.

We got to PTC (that's Peachtree City for the unhip), pretty much on schedule to find Andy wondering where we were. I didn't tell him but I stopped as we went by Hartsfield on the way to his house just so I could wave and tell the boys we'd be back as soon as we could go to PTC and turn around. A slight crisis averted with my luggage as we realized that it wouldn't fit overhead and would have to be checked. Because the nature of our schedule, we didn't want to do this so after measuring my bag to make sure and then 'working through' our differences, we headed out with an empty suitcase for me to swap my stuff into. A word in my defense, I merely backed my bag as I would to be taking an 8 day trip overseas, i.e. I had the gall to pack 4 pair of pants, the necessary amount of under garments/shirts to wear clean each day and a sweater. All of which fit just fine thank you. Nevertheless, I had more pants by myself than Andy/Daddy brought between them not to mention their 3 shirts each. I have this weird thing about wearing clean clothes.

So after unpacking my bag, I swapped everything into a much smaller suitcase and for the most part it fit because I am awesome...

4:52 am (U.S.) 10:52 am (France) -- We arrived a couple hours ago. Didn't have too much trouble though I did have to ask,(badly) if we were on the right train and the line for the train to Bayeux. That's where we are right now in fact. I suspect that will not be the case by the time this actually gets posted and read. I strongly suspect the jet lag will kick in shortly and since this is a 2 hour train ride perhaps I can get back a couple of those hours. In my brief stay in Paris I have determined that Parisians do like their graffiti. Maybe the train from de Galle to the center of Paris just took us through the Parisian hood. Or perhaps they don't want to stifle creativity. Dunno. I do know that it looked more like NYC circa 1977 than the cultural center of Europe circa now. Though we passed by a Peugot factory, I've yet to see a Le Car. Fingers crossed though.

5:15 pm (France) 11:15 am (U.S.) -- Did the Bayeux thing this afternoon as the jet lag really started to kick in. Andy has this silly notion of pressing on until total collapse because otherwise "your biorhythms will be screwed up." It's easy for him to press on since he/Daddy at least got some sleep on the plane. I didn't. So factoring in getting up yesterday morning in the 9:30 am range, I'm looking at 26 straight hours awake in which time I've driven to PTC, back to Atlanta, fly to Paris, rode the train 2 hours to Bayeux, walked around for about 6 hours so yeah, I'm a bit tired. Too tired to even be witty about things so here's what we saw, the Bayeux Tapestry and the cathedral here. I don't remember the name because I was zoning in/out but I'm guessing it was Our Lady or Blessed Mother or St. Somebody. Apologies and no disrespect intended to God and all his peoples of the world. I think even He rested occasionally.

I suspect day 2 will have me in more a return to normal. Check back and be surprised or disappointed.

Packed my bags last night. Pre-flight, must have been somewhere about 9 am

Even though we've still got a day before departure, last night we had a little farewell meal with Marisol, Buster (the fake name of Marisol's real little boy), the other MB and the one and only Poppie -- or Gramps as Buster insisted on calling him for some reason. The only location requirement being somewhere with a playground.

So the Ritz-Carlton was out.

We ended up at McDonald's.

My Dad had to settle for a McRib rather than prime rib. Just as well, he's the only person I know whose world gets a little bit brighter when he sees "McRib is back" on the marquee. He's not a simple man but he do enjoy the simple pleasures. (A favorite old joke of mine and Chris whenever we'd see roadkill: McRib is back.)

Interestingly, the trip was barely discussed save for handing out our itinerary and Buster's disbelief that I haven't left yet. He was much more interested in telling us about joining the cub scouts. A slightly tense moment as my Dad had to break the news to Buster that the scout motto is "Do a good turn daily" and not "I can do what I want" as Buster had thought. But SpongeBob came back on and he zoned back out. Buster that is. Dear old Dad's more of a Fairly Odd Parents man. Anyway, a good time was had by all.

At this point there's really nothing much left to do. Other than put about 200 more albums on the ipod. And cram as much french as I can into 24 hours. And get everything organized. Oh, and pack. Somewhat important, that.

Truthfully, I'm in a little better shape than that.

According to my itunes directory, I currently have 35 days(!!) worth of music already loaded. This trip is 8 days total. I'll pause here to give all interested a chance to do that math; by my count that's 27 extry days and about 9500 more songs that I could reasonably listen to. I'm expecting a helluva layover. Obviously.

So I probably could move ipod stuff to the back of the queue for the time being. But, but, but, says I. You never know. Riding the rails in France I may suddenly have the desire to explore that fourth Deerhoof album I bought 3 years ago but never opened.* And having a vast knowledge of arcane bands and music forms will be extremely useful in getting directions to the Eiffel Tower. Music is the universal language, etc. I think Seals & Crofts taught us that or at least they should have.

As for French, I do intend to have a cram session. However, at this point if I don't know it I probably won't. Plus, I can still 'study' on the plane. All kidding aside, I am a bit nervous about the language stuff; I really would like to have at least rudimentary communication with my hosts. I'm probably in a little better shape than I think, but I fully believe MB when she says it's a whole different ballgame when you're thrown into it.

I figured last night while this part of the world was sleeping was a decent enough time to start getting my clothes/essentials together. I resisted the urge to call the esteemed probate judge and take her up on her offer to help as needed. Though I must admit the thought of calling and waking her at 1 am to come pack for me so I could go to bed was all too tempting. I suspect she would have hung up on me after suggesting I search for a job opening in the Paris Probate Court.

So that's really about where everything stands right now.

As for a posting schedule over the next few days, I don't really know. It will probably be a catch as catch can sort of thing. Rest assured that when I'm not basking in the history of my ancestors or eating an ice cream cone that you, dear reader, will be somewhere in my thoughts. Not at the top, but probably not at the bottom either. Probably. Assuming no technical difficulties, there should be regular updates replete with photos. Therefore my advice would be to sit at the computer of your choice and hit refresh for the next 192 hours. Au revoir.


*No disrespect intended to the otherwise fine band Deerhoof. I actually like them quite a bit but get so many albums so fast that things get lost in the shuffle. A problem to which starving children worldwide can relate no doubt. This keeps me awake at night. That and global thermonuclear war.

Laziness pt. 2

Would-be basement dweller.



This has been my view for most of the last month. Truly breathtaking.



Patty Hearst still a bit mad after her claws were trimmed.

Actually, I do know the supervisor password

No. I still haven't packed. I'm proud of the esteemed probate judge though. She's resisted the urge to ask me for nigh on a week. That she wasn't here 2 of those days and I was doing 'field work' yesterday is beside the point. Furthermore, to mention that after 8 hours a day M-F, I make it a priority of every weekend to avoid any/all contact with her probably would just be splitting hairs. So let's just I'm proud of her. Which, I suppose, I already did.

But this morning, under the combined weight of her extreme fear of silence, routine, desire to see me test my eye-rolling skills and, perhaps, a smidgen of actual, genuine interest, she caved. Said weight so crushing, her interrogative was barely above a whisper. I responded in kind. It was a touching moment in an otherwise humdrum start to the workday.

I did, however, have a dream about that very subject last night. Packing for the trip, that is. Not the esteemed probate judge. That would just be weird. One of my fave Built To Spill songs says "No one wants to hear what you dreamt about/Unless you dreamt about them." Fair enough. The lyric goes on to say "Don't let that stop you/Tell them anyway and you can make it up as you go." Sorry blogosphere, Dug's given me permission.

Herewith a recap. It's all true except for the parts that are not. As is the previous sentence. The time/location of the following would be the trip to Hartsfield prior to departure.

I spent countless hours putting thousands of songs I'll never listen to on my ipod. When not doing that it was French lessons with Rosetta Stone, each subsequent lesson reminding me just how much trouble we wuz in if I'm the liaison:

French Custom Dude: Quel est le but de votre visite?/What
is the purpose of your visit?

Me to Andy/Daddy: He wants to know why we're here.

Me to FCD: Bonjour, FCD. Nous voulons acheter une échelle et des jeans
bleus. Elle est triste./We want to buy a ladder and blue jeans. She is
sad.

FCD: Sont tous les Américains aussi muet que vous trois?/Are all Americans as dumb as you three?

Me to A/D: I think he says all Americans are awesome but particularly us three.

So anyway we're bebopping along toward the airport and it suddenly occurs to me that I have brought nothing along. No bag, no ipod or perrier. Nor did the thought cross my mind to pack. So in a mild state of panic we decide Andy should continue the journey. I call Merisol to come pick up me and my Dad post-haste and figure I'll throw all my stuff quickly in a bag. If the timing works out right we should be OK. We pull over and Andy leaves us on the side of the interstate. We did not find this cruel or particularly odd. For reasons known only the dream weaver, there happens to be a whole bunch of other people milling around apparently waiting for something as well. Godot or the Supernatural Anesthetist, I presume. Maybe even the man though I didn't see Lou Reed.

Tiring of making references one or two people will get I tell my traveling companion we should just go home now. And after a brief scene in a Dairy Queen with Jerry Lewis playing Dean Martin that is unexplainable even for a dream and irrelevant, we are immediately back home. I throw some stuff in a bag and we're back off, driving a choice ride from our vast fleet. After acknowledging to someone (I've no idea whom, make up someone on yr own) that I will be driving at a constant, but nevertheless rapid, velocity, we set off. And suddenly I'm on a plane that may or may not be going to Paris.

Though I can place most of the particulars from my actual day yesterday, there seemed to be no purpose.

Much like this post.

P.S. That was my actual dream. No really. That's as good as it got. I had nothing to write about and thought the dream would be more interesting. I was wrong. Perhaps you can reread the above and put in the occasional explosion or shootout. Maybe even a dude on fire running by and jumping through a plate glass window for no apparent reason. Consider this homework.